Monday, June 3, 2013

Cara Menyembuhkan Orang Kesurupan

1. Pencegahan kesurupan
Menurut ane upaya pencegahan yang bisa dilakukan diantaranya adalah dengan menjauhi semua larangan, taubat dari segala macam kesalahan dan dosa, juga membentengi diri dengan beberapa dzikir, do’a dan ta’awwudz yang di syariatkan.
2. Pengobatan Kesurupan
Sepengatuan ane pengobatan yang paling ampuh itu adalah dengan surat Al-Fatihah, ayat kursi, dua ayat terakhir surat Al-Baqarah, Qul Huwallahu ahad (surat Al-Ikhlas), Qul A’uudzubirabbil Falaq (surat Al-Falaq), dan Qul A’uudzubirabbin Naas (surat An-Naas), lalu memberi tiupan pada orang yang kesurupan dan mengulangi bacaan tersebut sebanyak tiga kali atau lebih, dan ayat-ayat Al-Qur’an lainnya., karena seluruh isi Al-Qur’an adalah penyembuh bagi apa yang ada di dalam hati, penyembuh, petunjuk, dan rahmat bagi orang-orang yang beriman.
Namun perlu diperhatikan dalam pengobatan ini diperlukan adanya dau hal, yaitu :
Pertama, dari pihak orang yang kesurupan jin, yakni berkaitan dengan kekuatan dirinya, kejujuran tawajjuhnya (menghadap) kepada Allah عزوجل, ta’awwudz yang benar yang sejajar antara hati dan lidahnya.
Kedua, dari sisi orang yang beruapaya mengobatin, di mana dia pun harus demikian, karena senjata yang dipergunakan itu minimal harus seimbang dengan senjata lawan. 
Adapun tips tentang cara mengobati orang yang kesurupan  adalah:
1.    Siapa saja yang dekat dengan orang kesurupan jangan panik dan lebay, anggap aja orang asing yang datang yang mencoba membuat keributan, dan juga jangan takut dilukai ata dibunuh…karena pada saat itu yakini saja Jin tidak akan mau dan berani melakukan itu.

2.   Tempatkan orang kesurupan ruangan yang terbatas isinya (cukup untuk memegang saja agar tetap diam) atau tempat yang tidak banyak penontonnya dan jangan di muka umum apalagi jadi tontonan orang banyak. Semakin banyak yang melihat dan ramai yang menonton maka perilaku nih Jin akan menjadi jadi CAPER dan lebay, dengan gerakan heboh, berteriak dan gerakan gerakan konyol yang gampang saja untuk mempengaruhi kita.

3.  Berwudhu dulu atau bersuci dahulu ya agar fresh dan tenang, mulailah dengan Ta’awudz, basmallah dan do’a perlindungan kepada Allah.

4.   Saat mulai menghadapinya optimis, Kuatkan mental dan keyakinan anda dengan seyakin yakinnya bahwa kita adalah mahluk yang lebih tinggi derajatnya dari Jin dan Hanya Allah saja lah sebagai pelindung. Pastikan jangan terlihat lemah atau mencla mencle dalam bersikap dan harus tegas berani, mulailah bertanya dengan pertanyaan galak dan tegas seolah olah merendahkan martabat dia. Contoh “  NGAPAIN KAMU BIKIN RIBUT DISINI”!!, atau kAMU BIKIN MASALAH AJA, SIAPA KAMU COBA2 BIKIN RIBUT DISINI”, atau “ MAU CARI GARA GARA BIKIN ONAR, GA TAKUT CELAKA KAMU YA” jangan memulai dengan pertanyaan lemah lembut seperti…”Maaf kita beda dunia ya jangan ganggu….Mbah, mba, siapa yaaa??, maaf maaf kalau ada yang salah…(apalagi) << yang seperti ini mudah dikelabui dan dikendalikan oleh Jin untuk selanjutnya.

5.   Boleh berkomunikasi namun jangan sekali kali tertipu dan menurutinya contoh, jin : “saya ngga suka tempat saya dikencingi oleh teman kamu ini”....Maka jawab aja dengan jawaban mematahkan dan membuat Jin tampak bodoh contoh “ KAMU ITU JADI JIN PINTER SEDIKIT DONG, NAMANYA ADA ORANG KENCING YA MINGGIR ATAU GESER KEMANA KEK, BUKANNYA SENENG DIKENCINGI”…..ingat jangan terlalu lama berkomunikasi karena itu buang buang waktu.

6.  Mulailah dengan Ancaman dan menyuruh keluar dan pergi dari tubuh orang yang kesurupan dengan Ultimatum contoh “SEKARANG KAMU PERGI KELUAR DAN PERGI YANG JAUH DEH, SAYA ITUNG SAMPE SEPULUH…KALAU KAMU GA MAU PERGI JUGA BERARTI KAMU MAU PAKE CARA YANG MENYAKITKAN”...kasih Tausiyah dikit “ ALLAH DAH NGASIH KAMU PERINGATAN MASIH SENENG AJA KAMU LANGGAR, TOBAT DEH SETELAH INI ATAU KAMU NYESEL KARENA TERBUKTI KAMU DAH GA TAKUT LAGI SAMA ALLAH…” BURUAN KELUAR…1…2…..3…

7. Sampai tahap ini biasa ada beberapa yang langsung keluar karena takut tapi ada juga yang masih ngeyel….(dalam kondisi ruang yang terbatas Jin lama lama jenuh juga karena ga dapet perhatian dari orang banyak, jadi ngapain juga dia berlama lama hinggap di tubuh orang…..berbeda kalau ini dilakukan diepan orang banyak dan jadi tontonan). Ada juga Jin yang mau mengikuti perintah kita dengan persyaratan seperti minta dibuatkan kopi atau air putih atau segala macem baru dia mau keluar dan pergi. Ada juga yang mulai berakting hebat dengan cara MENANGIS, MERONTA, DAN MEMINTA TOLONG TOLONG.., Pahamilah seperti tadi di awal, bahwa Jin ini segudang tipu muslihatnya jadi “ JANGAN PERNAH SEKALIPUN MENGABULKAN PERMINTAAN APAPUN DARI SI JIN, DAN JANGAN TERLENA DENGAN TANGISAN Dan RONTAAN” karena itu bagian dari tipu dayanya…Tetap lah bersikap tegas hanya satu kata..”NGGA PAKE INI ITU POKOKNYA KELUAAAARRR!!!

8.  Sampai tahap ini si Jin masih Ngeyel mulai lah dengan cara yang lebih keras yaitu, Tekan lah ujung ujung syaraf  di jari atau Pembuluh darah di bahu, Pundak,leher, atau kepala wilayah rambut,..pokoknya banyak pembuluh darah yang bisa kita tekan di sekitar bahu keatas. Berikan usiran yang tegas sambil menekan jari kita pada posisi pembuluh darah tadi… Ucapkan Ayat ayat Qur’an yang Kalian Hafal saja seperti ayat Kursi, surat An-naas, atau lainnya dengan lantang dan jangan ragu-ragu. Sampai sini Jin sudah merasakan sakit yang luar biasa dan minta ampun ampun, teruskan saja jangan di kasih ampun, akhiri  dengan tepukan dorongan di punggung atau pundak dengan telapak tangan sambil berteriak “ALLAHU AKBAR”. Insya Allah sampai sini tuh jin dah ngacir pergi dan ngga balik balik lagi.

9.  Namun apa yang terjadi bila hal diatas juga belum teratasi……”SABAAAR, karena jin juga bisa ngetes kesabaran kita, maka lakukan saja terus berulang ulang tanpa mengurangi sedikitpun ketegasan kita dan menjadikan kita lemah..(hal iini biasanya jarang terjadi). Jin tidak kuat dengan tekanan tekanan di pembuluh darah ditambah dengan ayat ayat Allah diperdengarkan, prinsipnya ketika Jin sudah masuk ke tubuh sesorang maka dia sudah bisa merasakan sakit seperti normalnya seseorang, bila anda jewer, cubit, tampar ringan, niscaya dia akan menjerit...

10.Jangan lupa Setelah siuman segera berikan minuman hangat, dan makanan untuk menguatkan energinya. Ingat, Jin hanya merasuki tubuh seseorang yang sedang dalam keadaan tidak fit atau tidak sehat,  lemah secara fisik atau ruh dan psikologinya, selalu mencari titik lemah manusia…Jin pun milih milih kalau mau ngerasukin orang yang dituju untuk melampiaskan hasratnya untuk membuat tipu daya, membodohi manusia, dan pastinya dalam kondisi keramaian dan dihadapan orang banyak agar bisa meluluskan bakat actingnya didepan manusia.

11. Nih cara terahir cara kasar adalah bila ada yang kerasukan, masukin aja ke kamar trus tinggalin aja sendirian lalu cuekin…nanti juga Jin nya bosen dan jenuh,  karena tidak tercapai misinya, lalu pergi sendiri”..namun karena kita juga harus menjaga kondisi orang yang dirasuki agar tetap baik maka cara ini tidak direkomendasikan.
Semoga bermanfaat!

Contoh Spoof Text Beserta Soalnya

                                    Fluffy Bunny Rabbit


After a long day at the office, Chris came home one day and found his dog with the neighbour’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit was obviously dead. Chris panicked!

“If my neighbours find out my dog killed their bunny, they’ll hate me forever,” he thought.

So he took the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house, gave it a bath and blow-dried its fur.

Chris knew his neighbours kept their backdoor open during the summer, so he sneaked inside and put the bunny back into the cage, hoping his neighbours would think it died of natural causes.

A couple of days later Chris and his neighbour saw each other outside.

“Did you hear that Fluffy die?” the neighbour asked.

“Oh. Uhmm... Sorry to hear that. What happened?” Chris mumbled.

The neighbor replied, “We just found him dead in his cage one day. But the strange thing is that the day after we buried him, we went out to dinner and someone must have dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage!”
Adapted from: http://www.webwombat.com.au

Choose one correct answer based on the text.
1. What does the story tell us?
a. A rabbit and a dog
b. A boy who petted a rabbit
c. Neighbourhood in America
d. A boy who tried to maintain neighbourhood.
e. A boy who was angry with his neighbours because their dog killed his rabbit.

2. What was his dog doing when Chris found it?
a. The dog was barking at a thief.
b. The dog was digging the neighbour’s field.
c. The dog was eating the rabbit.
d. The dog was killing the rabbit.
e. The dog was carrying a dead rabbit in its mouth.

3. What did Chris think of his neighbour’s rabbit?
a. It was alive.
b. It was killed by his dog.
c. It was funny.
d. It was stinky because it was already dead.
e. He was upset because his neighbor did not bury it.

4. How did Chris cover up the death of the rabbit?
a. By cleaning it and then putting it in his neighbour’s house.
b. By burying it in the backyard.
c. By throwing it into his neighbour’s rubbish bin.
d. By bathing it and then burying it.
e. By replacing it with his own rabbit.

5. How did Chris get into his neighbour’s house?
a. Breaking the side window of the house.
b. Breaking the front door of the house.
c. Sneaking through the backdoor.
d. Using the key hidden below the doormat.
e. Passing the front gate of the house.

The Zoo Job Story


One day a clown was visiting the zoo and attempted to earn some money by making a street performance. He acted and mimed perfectly some animal acts. As soon as he started to drive a crowd, a zoo keeper grabbed him and dragged him into his office. The zoo keeper explained to the clown that the zoo's most popular gorilla had died suddenly and the keeper was fear that attendance at the zoo would fall off. So he offered the clown a job to dress up as the gorilla until the zoo could get another one. The clown accepted this great opportunity.
So the next morning the clown put on the gorilla suit and entered the cage before the crowd came. He felt that it was a great job. He could sleep all he wanted, played and made fun of people and he drove bigger crowds than he ever did as a clown. He pretended the gorilla successfully.

However, eventually the crowds were tired of him for just swinging on tires. He began to notice that the people were paying more attention to the lion in the next cage. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he decided to make a spectacular performance. He climbed to the top of his cage, crawled across a partition, and dangled from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this made the lion furious, but the crowd people loved it.
At the end of the day the zoo keeper came and gave him a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this went on for some time, he kept taunting the lion, the audience crowd grew a larger, and his salary kept going up. Then one terrible day happened. When he was dangling over the furious lion, he slipped and fell into the lion cage. The clown was really in big terrible situation. He was terrified.

Sooner the lion gathered itself and prepared to pounce. The clown was so scared. He could do nothing and he began to run round and round the cage with the lion close and closer behind. Finally, the lion could catch him. The clown started screaming and yelling, "Help me, help me!", but the lion was quick and pounces. The clown soon found himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and suddenly he heard a voice from the lion’s mouth;"Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?".

1.      What the zookeeper do seeing the clown started to drive a crowd ?
A.    He throw a net and catch him
B.     He give the clown some tip
C.     He grabbed the clown and dropped it to his office
D.    The clown run away from zoo
E.     The clown is closing to the zookeeper


2.      What is the Clown’s new job ?
A.    Attract guitar skills to the visitors
B.     Do some attraction with gorilla suits
C.     Mime some animal acts
D.    Cleaning services
E.     He didn’t have a new job yet
3.      What happened with the Clown when he taught the lion ?
A.    He mock the lion
B.     He throw a meat to the lion
C.     He sing a song
D.    He was slip into lion’s cage
E.     He perform a gorilla scrawl
4.      What is the mainly function of text ?
A.    To entertain and storied an unpredictable ending
B.     To share an information about something
C.     To advertise or selling something
D.    To tell about the procedures to do something
E.     To inform a news
5.      What is the general structure of the text ?
A.    Orientation – Events - Twist
B.     Orientation – Issue - Twist
C.     Resolution – Steps - Arguments
D.    Twist – Orientation - Steps
E.     Orientation – Arguments – Twist

Contoh Narative Text Beserta Soalnya

The Wolf and The Goat

A wolf saw a goat grazing at the edge of a high cliff. The wolf smacked his lips at the thought of a
fine goat dinner.
“My dear friend,” said the wolf in his sweetest voice, “aren’t you afraid you will fall down from that
cliff? Come down here and graze on this fine grass beside me on safe, level ground.”
“No, thank you,” said the goat.
“Well then,” said the wolf, “aren’t you cold up there in the wind? You would be warmer grazing
down here beside me in this sheltered area.”
“No, thank you,” said the goat.
“But the grass tastes better down here!” said the exasperated wolf, “Why dine alone?”
“My dear wolf,” the goat finally said, “are you quite sure that it is my dinner you are worrying
about and not your own?”


1.) What did the wolf ask when he saw the goat grazing at the edge of a high cliff?
A. To be his friend.
B. To graze on the level ground.
C. To climb up higher.
D. To be his dinner.
Pembahasan: Lihat paragraph 2. Intinya, serigala berkata kepada kambing: turunlah ke sini dan
merumput di bawah sini.
Jawab: B


2.) “Aren’t you cold up there in the wind?”
The word ‘there’ refers to …
A. a high cliff
B. sheltered area
C. grass
D. ground
Pembahasan: kata “there” maksudnya adalah “a high cliff”.
Jawab: A
 
3.) What can we learn from the story above?
A. Don’t look down other creatures.
B. Don’t easily believe in well behaved creatures.
C. Don’t judge others by their appearance.
D. Don’t easily beat other creatures.
Pembahasan: Dari kisah dalam teks tersebut, kita bisa mengambil pelajaran jangan mudah
percaya pada makhluk yang seolah-olah baik perilakunya.
Jawab: B
 
4.) From the story we know …
A. the goat was very hungry
B. the wolf was a helpful animal
C. the wolf was eager to eat the goat
D. the goat was going to fight with the wolf
Pembahasan: Lihat kalimat di paragraph 1: The wolf smacked his lips at the thought of a fine
goat dinner… Jadi serigala sebenarnya ingin memakan kambing.
Jawab: C
The Three Sheiks and Queen of Arabia
     Maura, who liked to be thought of as the most beautiful and powerful queen of Arabia, had many suitors. One by one she discarded them, until her list was reduced to just three sheiks, all equally young and handsome, rich and strong. It was very hard to decide who would be the best of them.
One evening, Maura disguised herself and went to the camp of the three sheiks, as they were about to have dinner, and asked them for something to eat.  http://boma-internet.blogspot.com

     The first gave her some leftover food; the second gave her some unappetizing camel's tail; the third sheik, who was called Hakim, offered her some of the most tender and tasty meat. After dinner, the disguised queen left the sheiks' camp.
 The following day the queen invited the three sheiks to dinner at her palace. She ordered her servants to give each one exactly what they had given her the evening before.

    Hakim, who received a plate of delicious meat, refused to eat it if the other two could not share it with him, and this act finally convinced Queen Maura that he was the man for her.
"Without question, Hakim is the most generous of you," she announced her choice to the sheiks." So it is Hakim I will marry."

 ◄===========↕========-==êÜê==-==========↕==========►
1. What does the story teach us ?
A. If we want to give something to other people, we shall give the best.
B. Do not be cowards.
C. Be the cowards.
D. As a beggar.
E. Don’t be lazy.

2. The three sheiks were not ........
A. rich
B. young
C. strong
D. gloomy
E. handsome


3. Which statement is TRUE about the queen ........
A. The queen was the most powerful queen in Africa.
B. The queen was very proud of her beauty and riches.
C. The queen herself served the sheiks with delicious food.
D. The queen was very careful in deciding whom she would mary.
E. The queen was very satisfied with the food given by the sheiks.

4. The Queen ordered her servants to give the sheiks the same kind of food she got from the evening before because ........
A. she wanted to entertain her guests
B. she wanted to test the sheiks's taste
C. she wanted to see the sheiks's reactions
D. she wanted to make a joke of the sheiks
E. she wanted to repay the sheik's kindness

5. The main idea of paragraph six is ........
A. Hakim was an unselfish person.
B. Hakim was served with succulent meat.
C. Hakim was satisfied with the food served.
D. Hakim wanted to share the food with the sheiks.
E. Hakim had made the queen find the resolution of her problem.


 

Thursday, May 2, 2013

SEMAPHORE


SEMAPHORE

Hafalkan posisi dari tangan sebagai berikut:
Huruf
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
Posisi
1
2
3
4
5
6
7

Huruf
H
I
K
L
M
N
Posisi
1-2
1-3
1-4
1-5
1-6
1-7

Huruf
O
P
Q
R
S
Posisi
2-3
2-4
2-5
2-6
2-7

Huruf
T
U
Y
salah
Posisi
3-4
3-5
3-6
3-7

Huruf
angka
J
V
Posisi
4-5
4-6
4-7

Huruf
W
X
Posisi
5-6
5-7

Huruf
Z
Posisi
6-7
                 

                       GUDEP 261/262